Woke up this morning wondering about whether any of the people born with hyphenated last names have decided to further hyphenate their last names post-marriage or post-other-family-oriented-union. Am I the only person on the planet who would enjoy getting holiday cards from the Mendoza-Smith-Berkowitzes or the Chesterfield-Lee-Meyerses? A facebook search might get me some easy answers; but, surely, someone must be doing sociological studies related to trends of chosen last names in the US! There are so many interesting questions related to this topic, and what better way to answer them than with statistics?
- Of those who change their hyphenated last name during an interpersonal merger, is that group more or less likely than other similarly merged folks to chuck their given names completely?
- Of those who opt for a name change of some type, is that group more or less likely to go in for the patriarchal standard convention of adopting a male partner's name or to go in for the radical-style invention of a new name for both partners?
- Which name(s) do the kids get?
- Are people born with hyphenated last names more or less likely to change their last names in their lifetimes at all?
- Are they more or less likely to enter into a marriage/partnership for that matter?
This started out as totally idle curiosity, but the questions raised feel culturally important. The proprietary history of marriage and the powerful nature of naming imbue the choices people make about their names with profound social significance. Behavioral trends in naming must tell some fascinating stories about private identities and public acceptance. Maybe the hyphenated demographic could give us a particular kind of "state of the union address." Just looking at marriage certificates alone would be interesting enough, but I'd be especially interested in comparing them between states who have (or have had) marriage equality and states that have not. It seems obvious to me that the institution of marriage has changed in response to various civil rights and feminist movements over the past 50 years, but has it become linguistically obvious yet?
I know that semantic change takes time, discourse, dispute, and a lot more time--I read a bit of structuralist theory and cultural criticism in graduate school--but the redefinition of marriage in at least the legal system feels long overdue. Indulge me in a little impatience, but couldn't the rate of change itself be accelerating as we fly through life on the 4G wings of the Information Age? When
Ferdinand de Saussure died in 1913, he was supposedly depressed by his theories not having become widely acknowledged over the course of his career. As much hope and freedom as one might find in the idea that the connection between the signifier and the sign is arbitrary, waiting for a particular change in the connection can still be terribly depressing.*
~~~
So, I sat down this morning with these questions and curiosities over coffee and a long-held but, until this weekend, unread copy of
The Best of Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet, and the universe totally thwacked me upside the head! The next story after where I'd left off yesterday was "An Open Letter Concerning Sponsorship" by Margaret Muirhead. Since it was one of the early LCRW stories, I expected it to be somehow related to the topic of keeping the zine afloat (see the appendix in the back of the collection for true subscription antics). Instead, it's a hilarious and not entirely implausible request for bids on the naming rights of the narrator's progeny in exchange for lifetime financial support of the same. In the letter, the narrator explains that she and her husband have chosen to keep their given names "like many modern couples," and choose a different last name for their children:
"We considered splicing and grafting our names, all to hideous effect. We then bandied about the names of our favorite composers, poets, filmmakers, and household appliances. We are especially fond of our toaster oven and are grateful to its manufacturer. We are also fond of the verb
bandy."
Both parents are well-educated, employed, and able to make a fairly comfortable life for themselves in an urban area, but they are "remuneratively challenged" and have come up with a creative financial strategy for funding the extremely expensive endeavor of procreation by taking notes on the tactic employed by many of the nation's ballparks and stadiums. In real life, the author and her husband (who share the names of the parents signing the letter) seem to have found some way to pay for the two kids they've had since the original publication in Volume 4 of LCRW in 1999. How did they do it: writing a series of children's books, moving away from the city, or naming the kids after the highest bidder? I suspect a combination of the first two, since the kids' last name is not listed on
Margaret Muirhead's website and her letter clearly stated that no name-dropping opportunity would be missed had they actually found a sponsor.
~~~
Synergy can really freak me the fuck out sometimes! After I finish reading this collection, I'm considering either pursuing a career in sociology or semiotics, adding a corporate dimension to my kid-contingency financial plan, calling up all of my hyphenated friends in an informal pole of their thoughts on gender equality in family nomenclature, or maybe just going back to that copy of Umberto Eco's
The Name of the Rose that I put down some time during junior college.
Wish me luck, internets!
*
True Fact: the last time I was able to post anything in this blog--or write anything longer than a poem really--was in the crushing month of November 2008 when most of my immediate family joined the slight majority of California residents in voting for the removal of marriage equality from the state constitution. It was a crushing blow to my already fragile feelings of self-worth, empowerment and hope for the future. Eh...it's also true that the election coincided with my 30th birthday, coming to the unsettling realization that Harvey Milk was killed only a few weeks after I was born, and the theft of my Scattante road bike (a.k.a the beloved extension of my body from 2006-2008). So, the roller coaster of emotions was definitely accentuated by personal context, but the voter approval of Proposition 8 really did send me into a depressing tailspin.